Spirit of Life

I made this in a graphic arts class I took freshman year of high school. I remember it as a pretty open ended project, so I guess I decided on this. It is inspired from the Unitarian Universalist hymn "Spirit of Life". We sing this song a lot in my congregation and I think everyone interprets it differently. The line "roots hold me close, wings set me free" always gets to me and I don't really even know why. I guess it just is kind of a slap in the face for me, as if saying "you should remember your past, but you have to move on". I've always been relatively good at accepting whatever life throws at me, but it's gotten harder as time goes on. This song is just a reminder to me that it's okay to hold on to the past, but not too much. Because there so much more to do and see in this world. I love this song and I hope I conveyed my love for it through this piece of art.

~ Lia Rose

I Thought

I thought I was beautiful in your eyes,
But I was just another girl.
I thought I was special to you,
But those were the same words you said to her.
I thought I made you happy,
But you didn't stay.
I thought you loved me,
But I was just part of the game.


~ Lia Rose 2/28/13

That Girl

I want to be THAT girl.
That girl that everyone envies, but can't seem to hate.
That girl that people go to for advice for their first date.
That girl that everyone can't wait to see.
That girl that everyone wants to be.
That girl whose smile lights up a room.
That girl who makes all the boys swoon.
You'll never see that girl sad,
You'll never see that girl mad.
She'll always sit the perfect way,
And listen to anything you have to say.

I want to be THAT girl.
The one with flowers in her hair and a sparkle in her eye.
The one with the perfect words to say when you come to her to cry.
The one with the perfect body and glossy hair to match
The one who can make the perfect brownies in just the first batch.
She'll rock your world and blow your mind,
With moves and ideas you thought you'd never find.
That wink, that grace,
That kindness, that face.
Every ounce of her being,
Everything you are seeing...
That's not who I am.

Do you see that strong tall tree?
That's the tree I would climb and scrape my knee.
Do you see that tiny house?
That's the house I grew up in and fought off that big mouse.
You know Pocahontas the movie?
That's what inspired my four year old self to respect the earth for its beauty.
Oh, and that singer P!nk?
I looked up to her because she didn't care what others would think.
There was a guy.
That's the guy that made me sigh.
There was a girl.
That's the girl who made me laugh and twirl.
I am THIS girl.


~ Lia Rose 3/29/13

The End is Always Near

I hate endings.

The end is always near.
You just never know how near.
There's no specific time or date.
It all depends.
Which is scary, but predictable in the way that it must happen eventually.
Nothing lasts forever and all that.

When something ends, it's done.
So abrupt, the way we say it:
"The End"
Like there's no possibility for continuity.
But isn't there always that possibility?
One day, you stumble upon each other.
The friends reunite.
The boyfriends find that spark.
The lovers love again.
There's always that possibility.

People always feel like it's the end of the world.
"This relationship needs to end."
"Our friendship is ending."
"This is the end."
It's all so dramatic.
No wonder people are lost after this.
We make it sound like it IS the end of the world.

Starting over after an ending isn't really starting over.
It seems like starting over because you don't have that person anymore.
Because you were someone with that person.
And now that someone has left along with that person.
But that someone is still you.
You've just reshaped yourself a bit.
You just have to make sure you reshape for the better.
Not for the worse.
You have lessons to learn and journeys to experience.
This was just one of them.

Endings are very scary.
No doubt.
But you can't hide in your closet, afraid the END monster will come back to bite you.
If you do this, you'll never gain those new lessons and experiences.
Endings hurt.
Of course.
But chances are, you will spend more time with those friends and partners than you will getting hurt by them.

Endings leave so much to be explored.
You can continue on with new adventures.
You can make new memories.
You will have more stories to tell.
Because this is a part of life.
Endings are just as important as beginnings.

I love endings.

The Romantics

"You know I have tried to change these feelings
I've done everything
Other guys
Other towns
Other jobs
And they say that it gets easier with time but it doesn't
If anything, the more time passes the more I miss him

I thought that I could get through this
I did
But I can't."

~ The Romantics, 2010

Don't Tell Me About Reality

Don't tell me about reality
I know exactly what is real and what is in my head
If I say something that you don't agree with
Don't tell me it's not realistic
I'm saying it because I need to say it
I need the hope that goes along with saying it
Let me have that hope
For just a minute.

Don't tell me about reality
I'm perfectly aware that friendships don't last forever
That he probably won't like me back
That I don't have any money
That a lot of people dislike me
That world peace is impossible
That every life ends.

Don't tell me about reality
I've been smacked, pushed, and held down
But every time I've gotten back up
I've jumped up
I don't even know how I do it
I wish I did to pass on this ability
But it's just something I've found I've had to do
There's no other choice
Because I deserve better.

Don't tell me about reality
I've heard stories that I thought only happened in movies
These people have been abused, hated, and deprived
I have never been as disappointed
As when I heard the story of your sadness
Because you deserve all the happiness in the world
And never have I ever been as relieved
As when you told me you have made it this far.

Don't tell me about reality
Because my happiness comes from that glimmer of hope
Your eyes shine with possibility
That's why I prefer my mind
To your reality.


~ Lia Rose 4/12/13

Never Can Go Back

Dark places we've gone
Rays of light have beamed
Hands trembling, sweating, shaking
Mind spinning and judging
Smooth surfaces to glide
No such thing as serenity
The looks we've exchanged
With the wave of our skin
Beauty can be born

Possibility is deadly
Complications never end
The ripples of peace are painful
Expectancy of danger
Stopping to take a breath
But wait
No breath to take
Suffocation around every corner
Curves and edges
What's the difference?
Both scary and shameful
Never can go back now

Smiles up and down
But your eyes are despondent
Cannot wait for the day you return
Fate is true
No other reason to have met you
You mean the world to us all
Not just me but that one
She could never disregard you
Like that sign we should have seen
Bright and bold
Her regard is important to you
I put it off with disdain
How could you believe it?


Possibility is deadly
Complications never end
The ripples of peace are painful
Expectancy of danger
Stopping to take a breath
But wait
No breath to take
Suffocation around every corner
Curves and edges
What's the difference?
Both scary and shameful
Never can go back now

Pounding on the ground runs our feet
Away from the truth we run
Operation in my head
Working on the rejection
How to let it go
Never want to admit the pain
Too much misery in this zone
Nothing is safe
Hate and truth and love and faith
Nothing can come true in a space of grime
The impurity of us
Tormenting me
Torturous delay
I can't get out of this pit

Crawling along
The wait is agonizing
How did I do it before?
It was never this bad
This is the worst of all
You don't mind
You're in no hurry
Don't worry
The depths are familiar to me


Possibility is deadly
Complications never end
The ripples of peace are painful
Expectancy of danger
Stopping to take a breath
But wait
No breath to take
Suffocation around every corner
Curves and edges
What's the difference?
Both scary and shameful
Never can go back now

The wait is over
The end is near
No more going back now
We never can go back now


~ Lia Rose 4/12/13

Just Another Love Song?

I've come to appreciate the rapper/artist Macklemore recently. He is a gifted writer because he writes from the heart and only ever speaks the truth. He became popular through the song "Thrift Shop" basically because of the line "Walk into the club, like 'what up, I gotta big cock". Which is sad, but it was what had to happen for him to be recognized for his actual talent. If you actually listen to the song, though, it's about commercialism and how ridiculous it is to pay $50 for a simple t-shirt that everyone else has. He has also written the songs "And We Danced", "Otherside", and "Same Love". These leave the messages of having fun and not regretting it, how awful it is that rap promotes drugs, and supporting same sex marriage. There are many other songs I could mention, but those seem to be the most popular. 

I was just listening to "Love Song" from his first album called "The Language of My World". I like this song because yes, it is a love song, but it has so much more depth than, for example, Sarah Bareilles' "Love Song" about how she's not going to right him a love song... but obviously, it is a love song... so I guess she did? Anyway, Macklemore's song is very personal and shows his inner feelings (which he has a lot of). 

The first time I heard it, I had no idea whether he loved this girl or not. One minute he was saying "This is maybe wife - the one that found me in a drought, pulled me out and made me right...", which was so sweet! Then he was all like "...and now you're leavin' town. Another couple thousand miles south, which leads to crazy fights. And I don't know how to deal with it, I gotta be real with ya." I automatically thought this was going to be all sad and heartbreaking that they couldn't be together. This thought continued because of the line "Sometimes the thing you love the most in this world you just gotta let it be. It hurts to have to set it free. And if it does, it doesn't work we both know that it was meant to breath." At this point, I was really upset and start relating this to my own life, which was something I really didn't want to do because admitting that you have to let something go... is really hard. Near the end of the song, the background singers sung "We been together but in my head, we would break apart..." Which leaves me officially shattered. It all hits too close to home and I decide I really don't like this song. 

Within the next couple days, the song popped up on my iPod when it was on shuffle. I was doing homework at the time, so I wasn't really paying attention to it at first... but something caught my ear. "This ain't the same old love song cause we been through the depths where all the trust is gone. For months on end all we have is phone calls. But you know what makes it worth it?" This was when my ears perked up. "To watch someone progress, to have them watch you, someone that you respect and value and cry to. It's something so comforting cause it could bring so much truth." I had missed it. The first time around I had missed this part of the song. As I listened intently to the rest of the song, I heard "But it could work. I'm attemptin' it. Nah, we're livin' it. To keep defining and redefining what love and commitment is." He was determined to stay with her. I hadn't been able to decipher what the background singers were singing in the chorus (a personal pet peeve of mine) the first time, but I got it this time. "Every time I can't ignore you. Every time I come around I see your face always movin'." I finally understood it. He wasn't sure if this relationship would work out, but he couldn't ignore his love for her.

THIS is why I love Macklemore. This is not just another love song; it's truth. Our emotions are confusing and sway back and forth, which is completely understandable for the subject matter in this song. He wrote exactly what was going on in his head and probably figured a lot of it out by putting it down in writing. I love that I had to decipher the message. Having something that challenges my mind and feelings is nice, because songs like "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together" and "Sexy and I Know It" don't exactly leave me with questions other then "Why the hell did I just listen to this?". I just love that Macklemore is different. He's not one of those rappers who only talk about sex, drugs, naked ladies, and 'love'. He talks about real issues, such as gay marriage and politics.

I don't always listen to rap... but when I do, it's Macklemore.

""And if your life truly flashes in front of you when you die, just know the best time of my life has been lovin' you. I love you, you know." ~ Macklemore, Love Song

Him

He's so beautiful. 

He's the kind of beautiful you want to just stare at forever. 

Smiling at him almost seems like a crime, because I could never match that beauty. 

When he looks at me in the hallway, my stomach turns. 

I'll never forgive him for that. 

For walking past my life on a daily basis. 

There's so much there.

Between us.

It's one of those undeniable attractions. 

We walk to the same beat.

We both smile down at our feet.

If you said there was no tension, you'd be blind.

It's one of those rare connections that's hard to find.

Simple words can turn into complicated feelings.

Tomorrow, he'll look at me again.

And I'll smile.

And he'll still be beautiful.

The Ultimate Question

Why do good girls like bad boys?

The assumed definition of "bad boy"*: a male who only uses females for sex.
The actual definition of "bad boy"*: a male who has ever let down a female at any point in their life.
*Same goes for "bad girls" towards males. As well as females towards females, males towards males, etc.

I have a lot of friends who consider themselves "good guys" and wonder why the girls they like go for the "jerks" or "bad boys".
First of all, you're assuming there are no "bad girls". There are plenty of girls out there who do the same things to guys as the "bad boys" do to girls. Also, considering the girl chose a "bad boy", how do you know she's not in fact a "bad girl", as well? Yes, she may be a nice person, but that doesn't mean she doesn't have a bad side to her.
Second, you're generalizing boys into two categories: good and bad. We all know for a fact that there are many guys who have treated some girls badly, but treated others like angels. It all depends on whether they really like them or not.
Finally, to all you "good guys" out there. Are you really a good guy? Have you ever let a girl down? Well, if you have then you've probably been considered a "bad boy" at one time in your life, because the person who lets the other person down is considered the "bad" person.

In conclusion, it's all about personal preference. If the "good guy" doesn't get the girl, that probably just means she is not the right girl for him anyway. If she prefers to be treated badly by someone, that's her choice. One day, everyone will find someone who loves them for who they are, live happily ever after, blah blah blah. The end.

Q&A
If you let someone down, are you actually a bad person? 
No. It's better to let someone down when you know you're not attracted to them rather than lead them on and have it end even worse later on.
If she didn't choose the "good guy", does that make her a "bad girl" or even a bad person?
No. She is probably just more attracted to the "bad boy". If she changes her mind and gets tired of the "bad boy", she'll eventually look for someone else.

The Four Elements

The love in the earth is filling our hearts.

The hate in the fire is corrupting our ways.

The calmness in the water is cleansing the pain.

The beauty in the air is going unnoticed.


~ Lia Rose 4/3/13

This Is Nothing But True

There's a smile on my face and warmth in my heart,
This feels like it could be a new start.
The beginning of something fun,
Something I can bath in just like the sun.
No drowning here,
Just floating without fear.
Grab my hand and guide me through,
I know this is nothing but true.
The embrace of the earth takes me in,
And makes me happier than I have ever been.
Your smile is so beautiful it makes me soar,
So you just reach up and pull me back to the core.
The more I think about it,
The better we seem to fit.
The pieces fall into place so completely,
It helps me believe those words you said so sweetly.
I'm so relaxed because nothing could go wrong,
I've never in all my life felt this strong.
But the boulder becomes heavy all at once,
It happens as fast as a cougar can pounce.
I open my eyes
And slowly begin to realize
I'm sweating and trembling and gasping for air,
And thinking to myself "These dreams are so unfair."

~ Lia Rose 4/2/13

Standing Up For Your Love

A friend of mine dated this boy who would never buy her flowers. She would get really upset about this and didn't understand why he didn't love her enough to get her flowers. I asked her whether she loved him. Yes, very much so. Did he love her? Everyone knew he did. “Then, honey, if what you think embodies that love is flowers, you have to tell him! He won't know this unless you tell him, silly!” She ended up telling him and every time they went on a date he would buy her a bouquet of her favorite flowers.

Sometimes it's the little things that you have to work for in a relationship, like telling them you like flowers. Other times, it's much bigger things like parents who won't accept the relationship, long distance relationships, or a whole portion of the population that thinks your relationship is a sin. But they're all things that can be conquered if you fight for it. If someone doesn't think you should be together or the universe won't allow the gap to close between you two, that's unfortunate. But if you love that person enough, it is possible to work through.

~ Lia Rose 3/30/13

Monogamy

“If you love two people at the same time, choose the second one. Because if you really loved the first one, you wouldn't have fallen for the second.” Johnny Depp has a point.

But maybe some people just can't be in monogamous relationships. They can't stay true to someone because they have so much to give, but can't seem to direct all towards one person. Our society puts a lot of stress on monogamous relationships. Two people, one relationship. Some people just can't do that. Whatever floats their boat, I guess.

Personally, I'd prefer to be in love with one person while unconditionally loving everybody else (in a much different way). But then I think about having to put up with one person for the rest of my life. I mean, I can't even eat one type of food two days in a row. That might be a problem when it comes to monogamy. That's probably why the divorce rate is so high. People just need variety. That just how we are as humans. 

People always say “once a cheater, always a cheater.” I see that working in some cases, but not others. If that person just can't stay true to one person ever and admits they can't love one person for a long period of time, then fine. I see where the consistency of being a cheater would come into play, but then there's the other cases. I'm talking about the cases where someone has cheated before, but once they find that one person... it changes. They may not have stayed true to others, but they finally fall in love. In this case, they probably cheated because they weren't truly happy in their other relationships. While in this specific one, they have found what they were looking for and don't need anything more.  

~ Lia Rose 3/30/13