Who Am I?

I know who I want to be,
But I'm struggling with me.
I laugh, I cry,
I accept, I try.
But don't worry about me, I'm just trying to be
Someone I'm not, but someone I see.
In my dreams, on the screen,
And I know just what they mean.
They're telling me "This is what you love, this is who you are!"
But sometimes it seems way too far.
Far away from the truth, far away from what is real.
I think about it day and night, for every meal.
I'll sit there, smiling, playing along with the crowd,
Sitting there, knowing my parents are proud.
Yet this isn't her, this isn't the one!
This transformation is not quite done.
The clothes have changed, the handwriting, too.
Almost everything I do is shiny and new.
"Am I done, am I done?" I wonder every day.
No, of course not. But I'm headed the right way.

~ Lia Rose, July 2012